(This rant was written the day after I fell on ice walking to meet all who went to seaweeds that cold night for I think it was andrew's birthday.)
My luck is shit. It's cold as hell out and I've been going mad quite some time now. My brain feels like mush and I can't remember anything and my memory is that of nursing home. I hate myself. Anyways, three days after the arrival of my new phone came a snow storm that left ice on the ground for weeks and weeks.
"Hey man, are you coming to Captain Seaweeds?"
"Yeah, I'm seconds away."
Lights of cars cast my shadow in front of me. Because of this wretched snow I was forced to walk on the main street and because of that I'm forced to fight for my life every time I hear a hole in a muffler or smell some burning oil. Just like that, a block from the bar where my lips could taste every ounce of liquid ready for consumption, I ate shit. (For those who are confused and think I'm some creep who gets off at the very thought of fecal matter, let me defend myself by giving a brief history on eating shit because, after all, everyone's creepy):
Example 1. Who:Grandma What:Eating shit on icy stairs
When:Around christmas time Where:First Floor, Union Street
How: Lack of salt + on/off rain sprinkles = Oblivious old person eating shit. (Sorry grandma)
Example 2. Who: Me What/How: Karma biting me in the ass when imitating how funny it would be if someone slipped backwards and fell on ice
When: Sometime Where: Some street
I have no history with anyone. I only have a history fighting myself, no one else gets credit. I'm trapped in this god damn house again.
1 comment:
JP you hold down your spot as king of rants. Its cool to see you doing some more prosaic stuff. I really like the example 1 and 2 sections, I thought that was really cool and took it in a way different direction. Playing on the phrase eating shit was funny/entertaining/a cool idea. Good ish.
kt
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