This materialized itself as some sort of foreboding prophetic plea to my supposedly Brooklyn-bound brother last night, while approaching my 41st sleepless hour. Maybe some of you will understand it more than I think he has yet to.
I usually don't like to pre-define meaning in any of my expressions, but feel it may be necessary in this case. To clarify the last stanza to most of you who did not grow up in Pawtucket; the word itself translates roughly to "place of rushing water". The city is regarded as the birthplace of the Industrial Revolution (to which we can all attribute our current state of existence as a number, where our only measure of value is that which is placed on our efficiency in production and consumption). The very first manifestation of this revolution was the construction of a dam across the Blackstone river at the place of rushing water; the dam which would provide the power to turn the gears of Samuel Slater's mill, and in effect, those of industry itself. Gears which today have finally begun to grind...
...........
Soon, Blood, it will be all too clear
where the True and Meaning
have chosen to lie their tired heads
and have their hand in fate and future,
while the throngs of feux-bots trip over eachother,
spinning round in awe and envy
at (once again) having missed the starting gun.
I sense the hammer,
cocked and leaning,
for I am the trigger
Flee the cutting edge of the blade for the trailing,
and slice not through the flesh and bone of stagnancy,
but merely hold on in desperation as the sword is swung.
In dust, real Revolution has begun again
and I am again at its very heart,
The Place of Rushing (thicker than) Water,
and this time will see the dam broken
MD
............
I feel very strongly, that there is something beginning to happen here (where we are). Greener pastures are neither existent, nor relevant. The time is now. The place is here. We all must become the trigger, and pull ourselves together.
As a sidenote, I posted the first completed piece of my solo efforts, featuring the talents of miss Raskin on Rhodes Piano.
CHECK IT OUT
............................
2 comments:
Great opening in "Soon, Blood," very powerful. Definitely an attention grabber. That middle passage is cool, I like the description of the hammer, "leaning" was an unexpected turn, I liked that, brings up ideas of a gun leaning towards its victims, wanting to do the killing. I also like the Greener pastures line when you say not only do they not exist but if they did, they wouldn't be relevant. I think that's a pretty telling line of how people's own situations should be addressed, to progress your own moment instead of worrying about stumbling into some other moment. I think this is one of the better pieces I have read from you. Good shit. As far as criticisms go, just don't rely on parenthetical too much. And in the last line, the pun is evident enough on pull ourselves coming after trigger, I think you could do without the quotations. All that is just preference though, except that lie should be lay in the 3rd line.
kt
haha thanks for the insight as usual kt. the poem though, actually ended at
"and this time will see the dam broken"
it is enclosed in ellipses in its entirety
the rest, like the beginning, was just commentary/a message directed at all reading this.
it's funny that you said that about the quotes though, because i long debated whether to somehow accentuate "pull ourselves" but i suppose most would easily see the wordplay intended there.
and i was unsure of whether to use "lie" or "lay", but i think i will change it, in the name of grammatical correctness, especially since the alternate meaning of lie really has no place there.
see you tonight son. ready your stache.
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